Welcome to the blog site of the Cape Cod Breastfeeding Moms.

We number over 220 members (we do not charge a dime for membership) with a collective boob-to-baby knowledge of over 600 years.

Founded by Cape Cod native Kate Conway, the group launched in 2010 as a way for mothers – both well seasoned and brand new – to connect for advice relating to ALL aspects of breastfeeding.

Unlike typical breastfeeding clubs which serve only new mothers, we have a wide variety of seasoned mothers whose collective knowledge lends itself beautifully to those who are brand new to the whole boob / baby thing.

Some of our members are well past their breastfeeding days. Some have nursed twins exclusively well into the nursery-school years. Some have nursed newborns and toddlers at the same time. We have moms that milk share. Moms that nurse each other’s babies. Moms that have survived breast cancer and nurse exclusively on one breast.  We have moms that are teenagers and moms well into their 40s.

Some cloth diaper. Some ride Harleys. Some are covered in tattoos and some have never even had their face painted. We have moms that come from families with long histories of breastfeeding and some who are fighting their own spouse for the right to do so.

What all our members share however, is a common sisterhood and an understanding that breastfeeding is not simply a way to nourish your child. It is an all-encompasing way of life, from co-sleeping to save your sanity, to telling someone exactly what they can do with their anti-boob thoughts.

While not always instinctive, and itself a dying art, breastfeeding successfully is empowering. It makes us stronger as parents. Confident as women. A take-no-prisoners sort of mother-lion mentality sets in the longer you nurse.

Breastfeeding successfully is the world’s purest form of female strength. The Cape Cod Breastfeeding Moms are are here to lend support, friendship and a wealth of myth-busting knowledge.

We are here to make sure any woman can succeed at this timeless art.

Peace, Love and Tatas Y’all


Kate Conway, founder and owner of My Mamma’s Milk

Flat and Inverted Nipples

miranda_kerr_flynn_breastfeeding_celebrities_photo_186sdn2-186sdo8FLAT OR INVERTED NIPPLES
My nipples don’t stick out as much as I think they should. Will I be able to breastfeed successfully?
Yes, you can breastfeed even if your nipples are flat or inverted. Babies feed on areolas, not nipples. When babies latch on and suck, they draw the nipple out, making it just the right size and shape for effective breastfeeding.
If you’re wondering about whether or not your nipples are inverted, gently compress the areola (the pigmented area around the nipple) between your thumb and forefinger. Most nipples will protrude. Flat nipples don’t do anything at all. Inverted nipples will retract. It’s not unusual to have one nipple that is flat or inverted and one that is not.
It used to be common practice to treat flat or inverted nipples prenatally with nipple-stretching exercises and/or breast shells (plastic cups worn inside the bra that press on the areola, forcing the nipple out). Yet studies comparing treated with untreated groups showed the treated groups actually were less successful at breastfeeding. Most breastfeeding specialists no longer recommend prenatal nipple treatment. They believe that all the attention given to nipples prenatally makes the mother feel that her breasts are inadequate, setting her up for breastfeeding failure.
An alert newborn who latches on and sucks well is the best remedy for flat or inverted nipples. It’s easiest for baby to learn to latch on in the first day or two after birth, before your milk comes in. Engorgement tends to make flat nipples flatter, which makes learning to latch-on more difficult. Plan on rooming-in with your baby right from the start, so that the two of you can have lots of practice with breastfeeding.
If you are having difficulties latching your baby on because of flat or inverted nipples try these suggestions:
  • Pay close attention to how baby takes the breast. Review Latch-on basics and get hands-on help from a lactation consultant. Baby should grasp the breast with a wide-open mouth.
  • “Make” a nipple. Use the “breast-sandwich” technique to get more breast tissue into baby’s mouth. Hold your breast well back on the areola, with your fingers underneath and thumb on top. Press in with thumb and fingers while at the same time pushing back toward your chest wall. This elongates and narrows the areola, which enables baby to latch on more easily.
  • Use a breast pump to draw out your nipples before feedings. The high-quality electric pumps available on hospital maternity wards will do the best job of drawing out the nipple without damaging it. You can also purchase a device specially designed to draw out an inverted nipple before feeding the Evert-It Nipple Enhancer , or ask a nurse or LC to help you make your own with a 10 cc disposable syringe. Remove the plunger, and with a sharp knife cut off a half inch from the nozzle end. Insert the plunger into the cut end of the syringe. Place the uncut open end of the syringe over your nipple so it rests up against your areola. Gently pull on the plunger to draw out your nipple just before putting baby to the breast.
  • Try wearing breast shells designed for flat or inverted nipples between feedings or for thirty minutes before feedings. Breast shells are made of plastic. They have two parts: a back with a hole through which the nipple can protrude and a rounded dome that fits inside your bra. Pressure on the shell from your bra against the areola gradually stretches out adhesions and allows the nipple to protrude. Be sure to wash these shells with soap and hot water between feedings and discard any milk that collects in them while you wear them in your bra. Note that shells come with two types of backs; the one with the larger hole is meant for treatment of sore nipples. Be sure to use the back with the small hole, which fits close to the nipple base.
  • If baby continues to have difficulty latching on, try a nipple shield. You can get these from a lactation consultant who will also advise you on how to use the nipple shield without compromising your milk production.

Breastfeeding Research!

Breastfeeding Protects Babies from Post-Immunization Fevers?
Article by Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog (May 19, 2010)
Have you ever nursed through, or after, your baby’simmunization? I used to do it to comfort my son, but now there’s some evidence that the fact that I was breastfeeding him was protecting him from post-shot fevers.
study just published in Pediatrics looked at the incidence of fever after immunizations among babies who were exclusively breastfed, partially breastfed, and formula fed.
In a sample of 450 babies, they found that fever was reported for 25% of the exclusively breastfed babies, 31% for the partially breastfed babies, and 53% for the formula fed babies. So not breastfeeding roughly doubled the incidence of fever compared to exclusively breastfed babies.
Why would this be? The authors note that different responses to viruses among breastfed and not-breastfed babies. They also note that it could be that babies feed more frequently for comfort after an immunization, thereby taking in more calories in the post-immunization period – a pattern which does not occur with formula fed babies. Reduced caloric intake is associated with higher levels of pro-inflammatory factors.

Substance in Breast Milk Kills Cancer Cells

ScienceDaily (Apr. 23, 2010) — A substance found in breast milk can kill cancer cells, reveal studies carried out by researchers at Lund University and the University of Gothenburg, Sweden.
Although the special substance, known as HAMLET (Human Alpha-lactalbumin Made Lethal to Tumour cells), was discovered in breast milk several years ago, it is only now that it has been possible to test it on humans. Patients with cancer of the bladder who were treated with the substance excreted dead cancer cells in their urine after each treatment, which has given rise to hopes that it can be developed into medication for cancer care in the future.
Discovered by chance
HAMLET was discovered by chance when researchers were studying the antibacterial properties of breast milk. Further studies showed that HAMLET comprises a protein and a fatty acid that are both found naturally in breast milk. So far, however, it has not been proven that the HAMLET complex is spontaneously formed in the milk. It is speculated, however, that HAMLET can form in the acidic environment of the babies´ stomachs. Laboratory experiments have shown that HAMLET kills 40 different types of cancer, and the researchers are now going on to study its effect on skin cancer, tumours in the mucous membranes and brain tumours. Importantly, HAMLET kills only cancer cells and does not affect healthy cells.
Studying the integration of the substance

Researchers at the University of Gothenburg are focusing on how HAMLET can be taken up into tumour cells. The researchers, Roger Karlsson, Maja Puchades and Ingela Lanekoff, are attempting to gain an in-depth understanding of how the substance interacts with cell membranes, and their findings were recently published in the journal PLoS One

Breastmilk Contains Stem Cells
Mammary stem cells (red/blue) and differentiated adult mammary cells (green) isolated from human breast milk.
The Perth scientist who made the world-first discovery that human breast milk contains stem cells is confident that within five years scientists will be harvesting them to research treatment for conditions as far-reaching as spinal injuries, diabetes and Parkinson’s disease.
But what Dr Mark Cregan is excited about right now is the promise that his discovery could be the start of many more exciting revelations about the potency of breast milk.
He believes that it not only meets all the nutritional needs of a growing infant but contains key markers that guide his or her development into adulthood.
“We already know how breast milk provides for the baby’s nutritional needs, but we are only just beginning to understand that it probably performs many other functions,” says Dr Cregan, a molecular biologist at The University of Western Australia.
He says that, in essence, a new mother’s mammary glands take over from the placenta to provide the development guidance to ensure a baby’s genetic destiny is fulfilled.
“It is setting the baby up for the perfect development,” he says. “We already know that babies who are breast fed have an IQ advantage and that there’s a raft of other health benefits. Researchers also believe that the protective effects of being breast fed continue well into adult life.
“The point is that many mothers see milks as identical – formula milk and breast milk look the same so they must be the same. But we know now that they are quite different and a lot of the effects of breast milk versus formula don’t become apparent for decades. Formula companies have focussed on matching breast milk’s nutritional qualities but formula can never provide the developmental guidance.”
It was Dr Cregan’s interest in infant health that led him to investigate the complex cellular components of human milk. “I was looking at this vast complexity of cells and I thought, ‘No one knows anything about them’.”
His hunch was that if breast milk contains all these cells, surely it has their precursors, too?
His team cultured cells from human breast milk and found a population that tested positive for the stem cell marker, nestin. Further analysis showed that a side population of the stem cells were of multiple lineages with the potential to differentiate into multiple cell types. This means the cells could potentially be “reprogrammed” to form many types of human tissue.
He presented his research at the end of January to 200 of the world’s leading experts in the field at the International Conference of the Society for Research on Human Milk and Lactation in Perth.
“We have shown these cells have all the physical characteristics of stem cells. What we will do next is to see if they behave like stem cells,” he says.
If so, they promise to provide researchers with an entirely ethical means of harvesting stem cells for research without the debate that has dogged the harvesting of cells from embryos.
Further research on immune cells, which have also been found in breast milk and have already been shown to survive the baby’s digestive process, could provide a pathway to developing targets to beat certain viruses or bacteria.

Make More Milk

Breastfeeding Korean Oreo
We advise moms to pump frequently (every 1.5 to 2 hours), but for shorter periods (10 to 15 minutes) rather than the typical advice of “every 3 to 4 hours for 30 minutes.” The pumping method we advise is more reflective of an actual baby. Frequently emptying the breast triggers the body to produce more milk, thereby increasing supply.
Increasing Your Milk Supply by Breastfeeding.com
Nearly all nursing mothers worry at one time or another about whether their babies are getting enough milk.  Since we can’t measure breastmilk intake the way we can formula intake, it is easy to be insecure about the adequacy of our milk supplies.  The “perception” of insufficient breastmilk production is the most common reason mothers give for weaning or early introduction of solids or supplements.
The first thing to determine is whether your supply is really low or not.  Some mothers have unrealistic expectations, and feel that if their baby isn’t on a three- hour schedule, or sleeping through the night by six weeks, they must not have enough milk.  There is a tendency for a nursing mother to blame everything on her breastmilk – for example, if your baby spits up or is gassy, it must be something you ate…if he has a day when he feeds more often than usual, it must be because you don’t have enough milk…Be careful not to get into the habit of attributing everything your baby does to nursing.  All babies, formula or breastfed, have laid back, easy, and fussy days.
Often mothers worry about their milk supply if:
  • The baby nurses often, or seems hungry soon after being fed. Remember it is normal for babies to feed often.  They have a strong need to suck, and love to be held close.  Breastmilk digests faster than formula, so nursing babies tend to eat more often.  Nursing 10-12 times or more in 24 hours is not unusual.  In fact, we lacation consultants worry a lot more about the baby who is sleeping long stretches than we do about the baby who wants to nurse “all the time”. Growth spurts commonly occur at around 10 days to 2 weeks, at 3 weeks, at 6 weeks, at 3 months, and again at 6 months.  The baby will nurse more frequently during a time of rapid growth and not seem satisfied.  After nursing frequently on demand for a few days, most babies will level off and go back to their old schedule.  Also, many babies will ‘cluster feed’ in the evenings before going to sleep.  This is a normal pattern for a breastfed babies.  Formula fed babies also have fussy periods in the evening, but their mothers don’t have a built-in way to comfort them, so they cry more.
  • The baby spends less time at the breast (maybe 5-10 minutes rather than 15-20), he takes one breast rather than both at a feeding, or your breasts feel softer and don’t leak as much as they did in the early weeks of nursing.  These changes are normal and just mean that your body is adjusting your supply to meet your baby’s needs.
  • You compare your baby’s nursing patterns, weight gain, or sleep habits to other people’s babies, or even your previous baby.  Remember that each baby is an individual, and the same rules don’t apply to everyone, just as the same rules don’t apply to formula-fed and breastfed babies.
    If your baby is losing weight or not gaining rapidly enough, you need to determine why your milk supply is low, and take steps to increase it.
The following factors can contribute to an inadequate milk supply:
  • Not getting enough sucking stimulation.   A sleepy, ill or jaundiced baby may not nurse vigorously enough to empty your breasts adequately. Even a baby who nurses often may not give you the stimulation you need if he is sucking weakly or ineffectively.
  • Being separated from your baby or scheduling feedings too rigidly can interfere with the supply and demand system of milk production.  Nursing often is the best way to increase your supply.
  • Limiting the amount of time your baby spends at the breast can cause your baby to get more of the lower calorie foremilk and less of the higher fat content hindmilk.  Usually babies need to spend from 20-45 minutes nursing during the newborn period in order to get enough milk.  Offer both breasts at a feeding during the early weeks in order to receive adequate stimulation.  While some babies can get plenty of milk from one breast, and after nursing only a few minutes, usually this happens after the milk supply is well established, and not in the early stages of breastfeeding.
  • If you are ill or under a lot of stress, your milk supply may be low. Hormonal disorders such as thyroid or pituitary imbalances or retained placental fragments can cause problems.  Many mothers find that their supply goes down when they have a cold, or when they return to work.
  • Using formula supplements or pacifiers regularly can decrease your supply.  Babies who are full of formula will nurse less often, and some babies are willing to meet their sucking needs with a pacifier rather than spending time at the breast.  If you need to supplement with formula, try to pump after feedings to give your breasts extra stimulation. If you use a pacifier, make sure that it isn’t used as a supplement for nutritive sucking.
  • If your nipples are very sore, pain may inhibit your letdown reflex, and you may also tend to delay feedings because they are so unpleasant.  See the article on “Sore Nipples” for causes and treatment.  Often careful attention to positioning will correct the problem.
  • Previous breast surgery can cause a low milk supply.  Anytime you have breast surgery, there is a risk of breastfeeding problems, especially if milk ducts have been damaged.  Generally, breast implants or breast biopsies cause fewer problems than breast reduction surgery.
  • Taking combination birth control pills (those containing both estrogen and progesterone) and getting pregnant while nursing can alter your hormone levels and cause a decrease in your supply.  Smoking heavily, and taking certain medications can also adversely affect your supply (see article on “Drugs and Breastfeeding”).
If your milk supply is low, here are some suggestions on how to increase it:
  • Monitor your baby’s weight often, especially in the early days and weeks. In general, the longer your supply has been low, the longer it will take to build it back up.  Get help early, before weight gain becomes a big concern.
  • Take care of yourself.  Try to eat well and drink enough fluids.  You don’t need to force fluids – if you are drinking enough to keep your urine clear, and you aren’t constipated, then you’re probably getting enough.  Drink to thirst, usually 6-8 glasses a day.  Your diet doesn’t have to be perfect, but you do need to eat enough to keep yourself from being tired all the time.  It is easy to get so overwhelmed with baby care that you forget to eat and drink enough.  Don’t try to diet while you are nursing, especially in the beginning while you are establishing your supply.  You need a minimum of 1800 calories each day while you are lactating, and if you eat high quality foods and limit fats and sweets, you will usually lose weight more easily than a mother who is formula feeding, even without depriving yourself.  (See article on “Nutrition, Weight Loss & Exercise“)
  • Nurse frequently for as long as your baby will nurse.  Try to get in a minimum of 8 feedings in 24 hours, and more if possible.  If your baby is sleepy, see article on “Waking A  Sleepy Baby”.
  • Offer both breasts at each feeding.  Try “switch nursing”.  Watch your baby as he nurses.  He will nurse vigorously for a few minutes, then start slowing down and swallowing less often.  He may continue this lazy sucking for a long time, then be too tired to take the other breast when you try to switch sides.  Try switching him to the other breast as soon as his sucking slows down, even if it has only been a couple of minutes.  Do the same thing on the other breast until you have offered each breast twice, then let him nurse as long as he wants to.  This switch nursing will ensure that he receives more of the higher calorie hindmilk, while also ensuring that both breasts receive adequate stimulation.
  • Try massaging the breast gently as you nurse.  This can help the rich, higher calorie hindmilk let down more efficiently.
  • Make sure that you are using proper breastfeeding techniques.  Check your positioning to make sure that he is latching on properly.  If the areola is not far enough back in his mouth, he may not be able to compress the milk sinuses effectively in order to release the milk.  (See article on “Sore Nipples” for tips on positioning).
  • Avoid bottles (if possible) and pacifiers.  You want your baby’s sucking needs to be met at the breast.  If your baby needs to be supplemented, try to use a cup, syringe, or tube feeding system, especially in the very beginning (babies under 2 weeks old). This is less of a concern with older babies who are well established with breastfeeding, as they are much less likely to have trouble switching back and forth between breast and bottle.
  • If you want to increase your supply quickly, consider renting a hospital-grade breast pump for a few days, unless you have a good quality double pump at home.  The best way to increase your supply is to double pump for 5-10  minutes after you nurse your baby, or a least 8 times in 24 hours.  Try to set the pump on maximum unless your nipples are very sore.  Most pumps work better on the higher suction settings.  Minimum is kind of like the baby sucking in his sleep toward the end of the feeding, and maximum is more like the vigorous sucking he does for the first few minutes of the feeding. If you live in the Winston-Salem area, call me and I can provide you with a hospital grade pump for a few days while you are building your supply.  For all other areas, call Medela at 1-800-TELL-YOU to find a rental outlet in your area.
  • There are certain food supplements as well as prescription medications that may increase your milk supply. Before using any of these, it is important to rule out other problems such as illness in mother or baby.  Many herbal supplements have been used for many years to increase milk production, with the most popular being Fenugreek, Blessed Thistle, and Red Raspberry.  Brewers Yeast (containing B vitamins) is another commonly recommended treatment for low milk supply.  I usually recommend that mothers try Fenugreek capsules (2-3 capsules taken 3 times daily) along with Blessed Thistle tablets (same dosage). You many want to add Brewers Yeast tablets (3 tablets taken with meals, 3 times per day) and Red Raspberry tea or capsules several times each day.  I know that seems like a lot of capsules to take, but if you don’t want to take them all, the Fenugreek seems to be the most effective.  Fenugreek is rated GRAS (generally regarded as safe), but when taken in large doses may cause lowered blood sugar, so should be used with caution by diabetics.  It is in the same family with peanuts and chickpeas, and may cause an allergic reaction in moms who are allergic to them. It may cause a maple syrup odor in urine and sweat. For the majority of mothers, it causes no problems, and can be very effective.  It has not been known to cause any problems for the babies of the mothers who take it.
  • There is one prescription medication available in the US that is often used to increase milk supply.  It is usually reserved for cases where all other factors have been ruled out, and other treatments have failed.  It is often used for mothers who are nursing premature infants who are hospitalized for long periods of time, and who are under a great deal of stress.  Metoclopramide (Reglan) is most commonly prescribed to treat reflux in infants, and to prevent nausea in mothers after a cesarean birth.  When given to lactating women, it stimulates prolaction production and will usually increase milk output.  Many studies have shown an increase of 66 to 100% in milk production, depending on the dose given and how much milk the mother was producing before taking the drug.  A dose of 30-45 mg per day seems to be most effective, with the average dose being 10 mgs taken 3 times a day.  If a mother responds to Reglan, she will usually see an increase in her supply within 2-3 days.  Once she stops taking it, her supply will usually drop off again.  If you are taking Reglan, you should also work on addressing the cause of the problem, by correcting positioning or pumping frequently, or your supply will drop back to previous levels when you discontinue it.   Tapering off the dose over a period of several weeks is generally better than discontinuing it abruptly. Reglan is commonly used in pediatric patients, and no adverse side effects have been noted in nursing infants.  Mothers may experience cramping and diarrhea, and long- term use (more than four weeks) has been associated with depression.

Why Boobs are Best

UnknownStudy: Breast-feeding would save lives, money
By LINDSEY TANNER, AP Medical Writer – Mon Apr 5, 10:53 AM PDT
CHICAGO – The lives of nearly 900 babies would be saved each year, along with billions of dollars, if 90 percent of U.S. women fed their babies breast milk only for the first six months of life, a cost analysis says.
Those startling results, published online Monday in the journal Pediatrics, are only an estimate. But several experts who reviewed the analysis said the methods and conclusions seem sound.
“The health care system has got to be aware that breast-feeding makes a profound difference,” said Dr. Ruth Lawrence, who heads the American Academy of Pediatrics’ breast-feeding section.
The findings suggest that there are hundreds of deaths and many more costly illnesses each year from health problems that breast-feeding may help prevent. These include stomach viruses, ear infections, asthma, juvenile diabetes, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and even childhood leukemia.
The magnitude of health benefits linked to breast-feeding is vastly underappreciated, said lead author Dr. Melissa Bartick, an internist and instructor at Harvard Medical School. Breast-feeding is sometimes considered a lifestyle choice, but Bartick calls it a public health issue.
Among the benefits: Breast milk contains antibodies that help babies fight infections; it also can affect insulin levels in the blood, which may make breast-fed babies less likely to develop diabetes and obesity.
The analysis studied the prevalence of 10 common childhood illnesses, costs of treating those diseases, including hospitalization, and the level of disease protection other studies have linked with breast-feeding.
The $13 billion in estimated losses due to the low breast-feeding rate includes an economists’ calculation partly based on lost potential lifetime wages — $10.56 million per death.
The methods were similar to a widely cited 2001 government report that said $3.6 billion could be saved each year if 50 percent of mothers breast-fed their babies for six months. Medical costs have climbed since then and breast-feeding rates have increased only slightly.
About 43 percent of U.S. mothers do at least some breast-feeding for six months, but only 12 percent follow government guidelines recommending that babies receive only breast milk for six months.
Dr. Larry Gray, a University of Chicago pediatrician, called the analysis compelling and said it’s reasonable to strive for 90 percent compliance. But he also said mothers who don’t breast-feed for six months shouldn’t be blamed or made to feel guilty, because their jobs and other demands often make it impossible to do so.
“We’d all love as pediatricians to be able to carry this information into the boardrooms by saying we all gain by small changes at the workplace” that encourage breast-feeding, Gray said.
Bartick said there are some encouraging signs. The government’s new health care overhaul requires large employers to provide private places for working mothers to pump breast milk. And under a provision enacted April 1 by the Joint Commission, a hospital accrediting agency, hospitals may be evaluated on their efforts to ensure that newborns are fed only breast milk before they’re sent home.
The pediatrics academy says babies should be given a chance to start breast-feeding immediately after birth. Bartick said that often doesn’t happen, and at many hospitals newborns are offered formula even when their mothers intend to breast-feed.
“Hospital practices need to change to be more in line with evidence-based care,” Bartick said. “We really shouldn’t be blaming mothers for this.”

Myths about Tatas

There are a lot of myths out there that can ruin your
breastfeeding career!
. Many women do not produce enough milk.
Not true! The vast majority of women produce more than enough milk. Indeed, an overabundance of milk is common. Most babies that gain too slowly, or lose weight, do so not because the mother does not have enough milk, but because the baby does not get the milk that the mother has. The usual reason that the baby does not get the milk that is available is that he is poorly latched onto the breast. This is why it is so important that the mother be shown, on the first day, how to latch a baby on properly, by someone who knows what they are doing.
 . It is normal for breastfeeding to hurt.
Not true! Though some tenderness during the first few days is relatively common, this should be a temporary situation which lasts only a few days and should never be so bad that the mother dreads nursing. Any pain that is more than mild is abnormal and is almost always due to the baby latching on poorly. Any nipple pain that is not getting better by day 3 or 4 or lasts beyond 5 or 6 days should not be ignored. A new onset of pain when things have been going well for a while may be due to a yeast infection of the nipples. Limiting feeding time does not prevent soreness.
 . There is no (not enough) milk during the first 3 or 4 days after birth.
Not true! It often seems like that because the baby is not latched on properly and therefore is unable to get the milk. Once the mother’s milk is abundant, a baby can latch on poorly and still may get plenty of milk. However, during the first few days, the baby who is latched on poorly cannot get milk. This accounts for “but he’s been on the breast for 2 hours and is still hungry when I take him off”. By not latching on well, the baby is unable to get the mother’s first milk, called colostrum. Anyone who suggests you pump your milk to know how much colostrum there is, does not understand breastfeeding, and should be politely ignored.
 . A baby should be on the breast 20 (10, 15, 7.6) minutes on each side.
Not true! However, a distinction needs to be made between “being on the breast” and “breastfeeding”. If a baby is actually drinking for most of 15-20 minutes on the first side, he may not want to take the second side at all. If he drinks only a minute on the first side, and then nibbles or sleeps, and does the same on the other, no amount of time will be enough. The baby will breastfeed better and longer if he is latched on properly. He can also be helped to breastfeed longer if the mother compresses the breast to keep the flow of milk going, once he no longer swallows on his own. Thus it is obvious that the rule of thumb that “the baby gets 90% of the milk in the breast in the first 10 minutes” is equally hopelessly wrong.
 . A breastfeeding baby needs extra water in hot weather.
Not true! Breastmilk contains all the water a baby needs.
 . Breastfeeding babies need extra vitamin D.
Not true! Except in extraordinary circumstances (for example, if the mother herself was vitamin D deficient during the pregnancy). The baby stores vitamin D during the pregnancy, and a little outside exposure, on a regular basis, gives the baby all the vitamin D he needs.
 . A mother should wash her nipples each time before feeding the baby.
Not true! Formula feeding requires careful attention to cleanliness because formula not only does not protect the baby against infection, but also is actually a good breeding ground for bacteria and can also be easily contaminated. On the other hand, breastmilk protects the baby against infection. Washing nipples before each feeding makes breastfeeding unnecessarily complicated and washes away protective oils from the nipple.
 . Pumping is a good way of knowing how much milk the mother has.
Not true! How much milk can be pumped depends on many factors, including the mother’s stress level. The baby who nurses well can get much more milk than his mother can pump. Pumping only tells you have much you can pump.
 . Breastmilk does not contain enough iron for the baby’s needs.
Not true! Breastmilk contains just enough iron for the baby’s needs. If the baby is full term he will get enough iron from breastmilk to last him at least the first 6 months. Formulas contain too much iron, but this quantity may be necessary to ensure the baby absorbs enough to prevent iron deficiency. The iron in formula is poorly absorbed, and most of it, the baby poops out. Generally, there is no need to add other foods to breastmilk before about 6 months of age.
 . It is easier to bottle feed than to breastfeed.
Not true! Or, this should not be true. However, breastfeeding is made difficult because women often do not receive the help they should to get started properly. A poor start can indeed make breastfeeding difficult. But a poor start can also be overcome. Breastfeeding is often more difficult at first, due to a poor start, but usually becomes easier later.
 . Breastfeeding ties the mother down.
Not true! But it depends how you look at it. A baby can be nursed anywhere, anytime, and thus breastfeeding is liberating for the mother. No need to drag around bottles or formula. No need to worry about where to warm up the milk. No need to worry about sterility. No need to worry about how your baby is, because he is with you.
  There is no way to know how much breastmilk the baby is getting.
Not true! There is no easy way tomeasure how much the baby is getting, but this does not mean that you cannot know if the baby is getting enough. The best way to know is that the baby actually drinks at the breast for several minutes at each feeding (open—pause—close type of suck). Other ways also help show that the baby is getting plenty.
 . Modern formulas are almost the same as breastmilk.
Not true! The same claim was made in 1900 and before. Modern formulas are only superficially similar to breastmilk. Every correction of a deficiency in formulas is advertised as an advance. Fundamentally they are inexact copies based on outdated and incompleteknowledge of what breastmilk is. Formulas contain no antibodies, no living cells, no enzymes, no hormones. They contain much more aluminum, manganese, cadmium and iron than breastmilk. They contain significantly more protein than breastmilk. The proteins and fats are fundamentally different from those in breastmilk. Formulas do not vary from the beginning of the feed to the end of the feed, or from day 1 to day 7 to day 30, or from woman to woman, or from baby to baby… Your breastmilk is made as required to suit your baby. Formulas are made to suit every baby, and thus no baby. Formulas succeed only at making babies grow well, usually, but there is more to breastfeeding than getting the baby to grow quickly.
 . If the mother has an infection she should stop breastfeeding.
Not true! With very, very few exceptions, the baby will be protected by the mother’s continuing to breastfeed. By the time the mother has fever (or cough, vomiting, diarrhea, rash, etc) she has already given the baby the infection, since she has been infectious for several days before she even knew she was sick. The baby’s best protection against getting the infection is for the mother to continue breastfeeding. If the baby does get sick, he will be less sick if the mother continues breastfeeding. Besides, maybe it was the baby who gave the infection to the mother, but the baby did not show signs of illness because he was breastfeeding. Also, breast infections, including breast abscess, though painful, are not reasons to stop breastfeeding. Indeed, the infection is likely to settle more quickly if the mother continues breastfeeding on the affected side.
 . If the baby has diarrhea or vomiting, the mother should stop breastfeeding.
Not true! The best medicine for a baby’s gut infection is breastfeeding. Stop other foods for a short time, but continue breastfeeding. Breastmilk is the only fluid your baby requires when he has diarrhea and/or vomiting, except under exceptional circumstances. The push to use “oral rehydrating solutions” is mainly a push by the formula (and oral rehydrating solutions)manufacturers to make even more money. The baby is comforted by the breastfeeding, and the mother is comforted by the baby’s breastfeeding.
 . If the mother is taking medicine she should not breastfeed.
Not true! There are very very few medicines that a mother cannot take safely while breastfeeding. A very small amount of most medicines appears in the milk, but usually in such small quantities that there is no concern. If a medicine is truly of concern, there are usually equally effective, alternative medicines which are safe. The loss of benefit of breastfeeding for both the mother and the baby must be taken into account when weighing if breastfeeding should be continued.
About the Author
JACK NEWMAN graduated from the University of Toronto medical school as a pediatrician in 1970. He started the first hospital-based breastfeeding clinic in Canada in 1984 at Toronto’s Hospital for Sick Children. He has been a consultant with UNICEF for the Baby Friendly Hospital Initiative in Africa, and has published articles on the subject of breastfeeding in Scientific American and several medical journals. Dr. Newman has practiced as a physician in Canada, New Zealand, and South Africa.
If you would like to contact Dr. Newman, you can mail him at: newman@globalserve.net

Nursing Tips

MUST SEE:  Great video showing an actively nursing baby – technique is great and you can hear the baby suck-swallow. CLICK HERE
LA LECHE MOM-TO-MOM FORUM ( We Highly Recommend!)
Massachusetts Breastfeeding Coalition Help Site:
Healthy Children Center for Breastfeeding
MY MAMMA’S MILK – PEER HELP: 508-415-1295
Got a question on a medication
and breastfeeding?
Call the world’s best researchers for free at the
Infant RIsk Center at Texas Tech University: (806)-352-2519
How valuable is breastmilk?
The cost of a container of Similac formula that makes 168 oz is $24.00
The cost of buying 168 oz breastmilk from a registered milk bank is $756.00.
The cost of nursing your baby? Priceless!
These charts are for breastfed babies only. The typical growth chart at most pediatricians’ offices are an average of both formula and breastfed babies (and, ironically often are supplied by formula companies!).
These are much more accurate (pdf files to download):
Q: When should I wean my baby?
A.When your child decides he or she is no longer interested in the breast. This tends to be a slow process of nursing sessions becoming fewer and fewer.  Know this, though: the NATURAL weaning age of a human child is between 2 and 7 YEARS of age (not when moms are bullied into it by family and peers):
From Breastfeeding.com:
In the study Breastfeeding: Biocultural Perspectives, Dettwyler wrote about the natural age of weaning for humans, meaning the length of time humans would likely nurse if cultural expectations did not interfere.
In comparing humans to other primates, research showed that humans’ natural age of weaning is a minimum of two and a half years and a maximum of between six and seven years. Researchers compared things such as the age of sexual maturity; the age of the eruption of permanent molars; the time when children quadrupled their birthweight; and the length of gestation.(4) In every other primate, nursing continues for years, not just months.
According to Dettwyler, “The very word infant in zoological terms refers to the time between birth and the eruption of the first permanent molars. ” Dettwyler further emphasizes, “The research looking at weaning time in primates and dental eruption shows that breastfeeding ends when infancy ends, when the first permanent molars are erupting.  In humans, that happens between 5.5 and 6.5 years.”
Moreover, Dettwyler has compiled references for all the studies that address the benefits of breastmilk beyond six months, data that will be included in the upcoming new edition of her book.  She cites 23 studies, not including numerous studies on allergies, that link positive outcomes with breastfeeding beyond six months.
“Another important consideration for the older child is that they are able to maintain their emotional attachment to a person rather than being forced to switch to an inanimate object such as a teddy bear or blanket,” Dettwyler wrote in the book. “I think this sets the stage for a life of people-orientation, rather than materialism, and I think that is a good thing.”
Breastfeeding: Biocultural Perspectives by Dettwyler can be purchased from Amazon.com
Q: I think I do not have enough milk!  I think I am going have to buy formula!
A. This is probably the NUMBER ONE issue with moms I see. They think, often due to poor advice and savvy formula marketing, that they cannot make enough milk to feed their baby. Poor milk can be caused by: poor latching technique of baby, use of pacifiers or bottles, and not feeding “on demand and for as long as the baby needs.”  The actually rate of having breasts that are PHYSICALLY unable to produce enough milk is extremely rare.  So, the good part: 97% of all low milk supply problems are fixable!  Call us or one of the lactation consultants listed here. You can also visit this site for some more tips: LOW MILK SUPPLY.COM
Q: I have heard a lot about Milk sharing lately. Can you give me some advice on this?
A. Breastmilk sharing is a wonderful option for the VERY SMALL percentage of women who physically cannot produce milk. I want to stress the “VERY SMALL” part of the last sentence. The vast, VAST majority of women, given the right support and knowledge, can breastfeed their children with little to no supplementing. Supplementing needlessly can actually reduce your milk supply. So number 1: make sure you are one of those extremely rare cases that cannot be fixed. Contact us if you wish, just to make sure you are getting the best milk-making tricks and advice.  We work with many moms that THINK they are not making enough, when in fact, they are but just need some help to optimize their milk production. Our help line is 508-415-1295.
Now, if you are a mom (or dad) that does need milk, you can contact our Cape Cod Breastfeeding Moms club or milk sharing sites on the Internet like Eats on Feets and Milkshare.  If you are sharing milk with someone you don’t know intimately (a dear friend, sister, relative, etc), you absolutely should get up-to-date blood tests from the donor AND pasteurize the breastmilk. These 2 steps, used together, should almost eliminate any possibility of contamination due to disease or bacteria.  Some women will argue that pasteurizing breastmilk ruins its nutrition, but this is not true. While pasteurizing does remove about 30% of immune properties of breastmilk, it still leaves a product that is far superior to formula.
Women donating breastmilk should be careful who they are corresponding with over the Internet (yes – there are weirdos out there) and always use a buddy system when picking up or dropping off breastmilk. NEVER EXCHANGE MONEY. EVER. If someone asks for money in exchange for their milk, see this as a red flag.  There are women who will try to sell breastmilk for money and this can lead to the milk being watered down or too old. It is rare, but possible.
Breastfeeding moms are a very generous group of women. If they have milk to share, they do so with a kind heart and no desire to pass on illness. However, sometimes a woman is unaware that the has contracted an illness (infidelity can bring home many illnesses, including HIV and women who are unaware of a cheating partner may end up infected and not know it). Bloodwork is therefore crucial. Realize that HIV may not show up in bloodwork for 6 months. Pasteurizing, however, kills HIV and many other diseases.
Pasteurizers can be found online for under $400.  You want one that can have the temperature turned down to 144.5 degrees F and timed to 30 minutes (this is the Holder Method used by breastmilk banks and is very effective).
Q: Does breast-size impact how much milk I can make?
A.The quick answer is “no – “It is the amount of well-developed glands inside the breast, rather than exterior breast size, that determines storage capacity.”  You can be a DDD or an A, all that really matters is how often you nurse (and even if your storage capacity is low, you can just nurse more often). Remember – on demand and as long as the baby needs will result in the best milk supply. After several weeks, your breast size may seems to go back to normal and you may worry you do not have enough milk- fear not! Your breasts have simply regulated to what your baby demands. The following tips make up a great “cheat sheet” for the new nursing mom!:
1. Skin to Skin Contact After Birth to Stimulate Suckling Reflex in Baby &
Milk Let-Down in Mom
2. Unswaddle Baby When Nursing (free hands help stimulate milk and orient baby to nipple)
3. Breastfeed Immediately After Birth (babies are alert and pre-programmed to latch at this time, though epidurals and pain meds can make them drowsy)
4. Nurse Often and On Demand (Ditch the Clock)
5. Ban the Binky and the Bottle (these can hinder milk supply!!)
6. Proper Latch & Mosturize to Keep Nipples Happy
7. Wear Your Baby & Keep Him Close
8. Learn to Nurse Lying Down and in Public
9. Find Great Breastfeeding Support Like the Cape Cod Breastfeeding Moms on Facebook
Q: I am pregnant and nursing my toddler. My doctor says I should stop nursing my toddler, but I don’t think I should.  Any advice?
A. Sometimes doctors amaze me! Did you know that in the 1600s, a wet nurse was allowed to nurse up to 7 babies at once?  Did you know that you can safely nurse a baby AND be pregnant at the same time?  Weening your toddler because you are pregnant is a decision of the heart. From a physiological standpoint, it is completely safe in a normal pregnancy.  We do recommend that you eat well and take in enough calories to cover breastfeeding and growing a new human! Remember also that doctors are not requires to have ANY lactation training, so when it comes to breastfeeding issues, please check the advice you get with the pros listed here on My Mamma’s Milk. We highly recommend our Cape Cod Breastfeeding Moms group or the La Leche Mom-to-Mom forum (listed above).
Q: What does it mean to have a Tongue Tied Baby?
A: Tongue Tie is when an infant has a short frenum (the piece of skin under the tongue that connects to the floor of the mouth). Babies with a short frenum can have trouble nursing. Know what to look for!!!! Tongue Tie is easy to correct and is no reason to stop nursing!!
Here is some great information from LLL about tongue tie: http://www.llli.org/NB/NBMarApr96p41.htmlALSO, this website is excellent: http://www.tonguetie.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=10&Itemid=10 
Q: How do I know if I can take a certain medicine while nursing?
A: See the Infant Risk Center link above or below!! You can call their hotline and ask. They are the leading researchers IN THE WORLD on medications and breastfeeding! http://www.infantrisk.com/
Q: What is the recommendation about drinking and breastfeeding? I am getting conflicting information . . .
A: Alcohol in MODERATION is usually safe, though it is believed that the consumption of beer can cause a reduction in breastmilk production and an increase in milk odor, which may bother the infant. If you have a small amount of alcohol (one glass of wine) 3 days a week, there is no issue with breastfeeding. If you drink more that 2 drinks A DAY, you should wait 2 to 3 hours before nursing. Excessive drinking and significant infant problems  (psychomotor delays) have been reported and studied. Best bet? If you really want ONE glass of wine with dinner once in a while, feel free to enjoy. This information is found in the Thomas Hale, M.D’s book Medications and Mother’s Milk 13th Ed.  This book (which I consider INVALUABLE to any nursing mother), can be purchased through Hale’s site by clicking here: ibreastfeeding.com
Q: How can I store breastmilk and for how long can I safely use it?
A: This is a great chart from the USBC: Click here: Breastmilk Sorage Guide
Q: My 4 month old is suddenly nursing ALL THE TIME. I am worried that I can’t produce enough milk to keep up with him. I am thinking of switching to formula. Thoughts?
A. If your son is gaining well, he may be going through a growth spurt. And though he seems like he is always nursing, by doing so, he is causing your breasts to produce more milk. Though you may feel like you are not making enough, you are probably making plenty and your body is “ramping up” production to meet his needs. Although your breasts may feel completely “deflated” they still produce milk (if you are ever worried that your breasts have been “sucked dry” simple attempt to manually express some milk – if you get milk, you are producing milk!)
Your breasts are the most perfect example of “supply and demand” ever created. The more a child nurses, the more milk you will make. The less your child nurses (hence why we recommend no pacifier or bottle) the less you will produce. So feed him when he wants and for as long as he wants and you will be a milk-making Venus!
Q: I have heard that babies should nurse no more than every 2 hours. So if my child wants to eat before the 2 hours are up, I should just give him a pacifier, right?
A. WRONG. The cardinal rules of breastfeeding are “on demand and as long as the child wants to nurse.”  What the new breastfeeding mother often does not realize is that the use of a pacifer can cause nipple confusion AND lower your milk supply. A mother’s milk supply is largely based on how much her baby nurses. The more the baby nurses, the more milk you produce. The less the baby nurses, the less milk your breasts make. It is crucial, especially in the early weeks of life, to nurse as often and for as long as the baby desires and empty your breasts frequently, which triggers more milk production (and avoids engorgement which can lead to mastitis).  Newborns should nurse at LEAST every 2 hrs. A baby sucking on the pacifier is NOT sucking at the breast and stimulating more milk to be made.
As far as nipple confusion goes, a baby at the breast nurses very differently than a baby at the bottle or pacifier. Switching between the two can frustrate a new baby and he may have trouble latching properly to the breast. He may even show an aversion to the breast as an artificial nipple is easier to suck.
Q. I am due with my first child in a couple of weeks and would like to breastfeed, but worried that it is going to be painful. Any advice?
A. Sore boobies are a big issue that stops many women from using the finest baby food in the universe – breastmilk. The best defense against sore boobies is 2-fold:
1. Proper nursing technique! Proper “latch on” is nearly impossible to describe on a website and requires the right angle, baby’s lips to be folded out, etc. It is an art and is teachable to both mom and baby. We HIGHLY recommend that you attend a breastfeeding Mom’s meeting / playgroup, ideally before you even give birth and regularly after the birth. Proper latch on prevents sore nipples and stimulates milk production. Improper latch can be painful and cause problems with milk production and weight gain in your infant. Just remember – most breastfeeding issues can be fixed, so don’t give up!
This is a good video about the proper “latch on” technique.: CLICK HERE
2. Lube up the Girls! About 2 weeks before your due date, start applying Lansinoh ointment or Earth Mama Angel Baby Nipple Butter. After the baby is born and you are nursing, apply the ointment after EVER FEEDING. These products will help soften your skin and make your breasts less prone to cracking and soreness. Also, do not wash your breasts with soap and only pat them dry (don’t rub) after a shower. Let your breasts air dry if possible after nursing (at least in the first few weeks).
Q. Any tips on co-sleeping?
A. Most countries around the world co-sleep with their children. This is especially true for the breastfeeding family as it makes night nursing very easy.  We encourage all families that are thinking of co-sleeping to read how to do so safely from the following websites:
Q. What is Attachment Parenting???
(from Wikipedia) Per Dr. Sears’ theory of attachment parenting (AP), proponents such as the API attempt to foster a secure bond with their children by promoting eight principles which are identified as goals for parents to strive for. These eight principles are:
  1. Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
  2. Feed with Love and Respect
  3. Respond with Sensitivity
  4. Use Nurturing Touch
  5. Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
  6. Provide Consistent Loving Care
  7. Practice Positive Discipline
  8. Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life
Sears’ website:
ATTACHMENT PARENTING INTERNATIONAL: http://www.attachmentparenting.org


Baby-Wearing Benefits

Baby-wearing popularlity increases


CONTRIBUTING WRITER FOR THE CAPE COD TIMES – reposted from Cape Cod Times website, which allows sharing of this article. 

April 27, 2008

Marie Spadaro often “wears” her 5-month-old son while teaching English classes at Cape Cod Community College in West Barnstable.

Spadaro, of Centerville, is a fan of “slings” or “pouches,” folded tubes of fabric that resemble the cloth used to cradle an injured arm. Young Gabriel fits right into the fold, and her 4-year-old son, Michael, did, too.

“My students seem really interested” in the practice, says Spadaro, a curriculum development coordinator for the nonprofit Attachment Parenting International, which promotes ways, such as those carriers, to form strong emotional bonds between parents and children. “It teaches them that you can have a very active life and children can fit into your dreams.”

“Baby wearing,” or carrying a child close to one’s body while keeping your hands free, is a centuries-old concept allowing parents to continue working or doing other activities while holding a child. The term was coined by Dr. William Sears in “The Attachment Parenting Book,” which he published with his wife, nurse Martha Sears, in 2001.

The baby-wearing practice went out of fashion in the U.S. in the early 1900s, when the wealthy could afford nurses and keeping a child so close was seen by many as a way of spoiling him. But the concept resurged in the later part of the century and, through widespread availability of slings, such as the recently popular Hotslings, in just the past few years.

These days, the focus has switched from whether to wear your child to how to wear him or her. There are three basic possibilities — slings, strap-based carriers or backpacks — and what’s best for a particular mom depends on a variety of factors.

Key differences

Spadaro, who is also a La Leche leader to help nursing mothers, prefers a sling after trying a front strap-style carrier called a BabyBjörn. “It felt like my back was on fire,” she says. “The Maya pouch is so comfortable, and fits me very well.”

Spadaro is a petite woman at barely 5 feet tall. Her sling, which comes in different sizes based on the wearer’s clothing size, worked well for her body type. A Maya ring sling, however, would have overwhelmed her small stature. “The ring slings are great and are adjustable (using the ring), but the extra fabric that hangs down would have been like a sheet on me.”

She sees several other advantages to her Maya pouch. “I can fold it up easily and stuff it in a baby bag or throw it in the wash. I also like the fact that strangers are less likely to come up and touch your child if they are in the sling. Having my hands free is a huge plus.”

Another bonus: Slings work well for nursing mothers, allowing them to be discreet based on how the device holds the baby against the mother’s chest.

Heather Lewis had long preferred a front carrier. A Forestdale mom who recently moved to Oregon, she used a Snugli for her first two children, Aiyana, now 3, and Toryn, 2. Snuglis and BabyBjörns are types of front carriers with four or more straps that attach to the parent and are used to adjust the fit. In these types of carriers, the baby’s legs hang free through two leg holes and the child can be faced inward toward the parent or outward toward the environment.

“I used the Snugli mainly because I was always flying and it was easy to have my hands free,” she says. “But the airport made you take the baby out of the carrier and you had to take it off and put it through the scanner – it was such a pain.”

Lewis also was aggravated by the six straps used to adjust the Snugli and sometimes found it difficult to place her children inside. So for Tehya, 10 months old, she chose a Hotslings pouch which, like the Maya pouch, comes in sizes and, though not adjustable, can stretch because of to its cotton-spandex blend.

“I loved how easy it was to use, how small it folded up and how safe Tehya was as an infant – I never worried about her falling out,” Lewis says. At 10 months, though, she found the sling was starting to lose its usefulness. “Tehya is all wiggly now and wants to get down, so carrying her at all is becoming a challenge.”

Benefits of baby-wearing

Babies cry less. When children fuss less, they expend less energy on crying and more on developing their senses, both mentally and physically.

  • Babies who have been carried are found to have better spatial awareness and better balance and coordination due to the ever-changing perspective of being carried by their parents.
  • Front carriers are excellent for children with reflux or colic because the carriers keep them in an upright position, which lessens acid problems.
  • Carriers allow nursing mothers to feed their children discreetly.

Sources: Marie Spadaro and Attachment Parenting International, http://www.attachmentparenting.org/

Copyright © Cape Cod Media Group, a division of Ottaway Newspapers, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Say No to CIO says HARVARD

Harvard Researchers Say Children Need Touching and Attention

by Alvin Powell, Contributing Writer, Harvard Gazette

America’s “let them cry” attitude toward children may lead to more fears and tears among adults, according to two Harvard Medical School researchers.

Instead of letting infants cry, American parents should keep their babies close, console them when they cry, and bring them to bed with them, where they’ll feel safe, according to Michael Commons and Patrice Miller, researchers at the Medical School’s Department of Psychiatry.

The pair examined child-rearing practices here and in other cultures and say the widespread American practice of putting babies in separate beds – even separate rooms – and not responding to their cries may lead to more incidents of post-traumatic stress and panic disorders among American adults.

The early stress due to separation causes changes in infant brains that makes future adults more susceptible to stress in their lives, say Commons and Miller.

“Parents should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms the baby permanently,” Commons said. “It changes the nervous system so they’re sensitive to future trauma.” Their work is unique because it takes a cross-disciplinary approach, examining brain function, emotional learning in infants, and cultural differences, according to Charles R. Figley, director of the Traumatology Institute at Florida State University and editor of The Journal of Traumatology.

American child-rearing practices are influenced by fears that children will grow up dependent. But parents are on the wrong track. Physical contact and reassurance will make children more secure when they finally head out on their own and make them better able to form their own adult relationships.

“We’ve stressed independence so much that it’s having some very negative side effects,” Miller said.

Americans in general don’t like to be touched and pride themselves on independence to the point of isolation, even when undergoing a difficult or stressful time.

Despite the conventional wisdom that babies should learn to be alone, Miller said she believes many parents “cheat,” keeping the baby in the room with them, at least initially. In addition, once the child can crawl around, she believes many find their way into their parents’ room on their own. American parents shouldn’t worry about this behavior or be afraid to baby their babies, Commons and Miller said. Parents should feel free to sleep with their infant children, to keep their toddlers nearby, perhaps on a mattress in the same room, and to comfort a baby when it cries. “There are ways to grow up and be independent without putting babies through this trauma,” Commons said. “My advice is to keep the kids secure so they can grow up and take some risks.”

Besides fears of dependence, other factors have helped form our childrearing practices, including fears that children would interfere with sex if they shared their parents’ room and doctors’ concerns that a baby would be injured by a parent rolling on it if it shared their bed, the pair said. The nation’s growing wealth has helped the trend toward separation by giving families the means to buy larger homes with separate rooms for children.  The result, Commons and Miller said, is a nation that doesn’t like caring for its own children, a violent nation marked by loose, nonphysical relationships.

“I think there’s a real resistance in this culture to caring for children,” Commons said. “Punishment and abandonment has never been a good way to get warm, caring, independent people.”

It is your baby’s instinct to communicate with you by crying.

It is your instinct to respond to your baby’s cries.

Great thoughts and I hope you don’t mind our page reblogging this 🙂

The Laotian Commotion

Tandem breastfeeding has so many great motherhood benefits. Yes, I adore the double-snuggles with my children. Of course I enjoy being able to nourish them both at once. I can’t complain about my postpartum body either, thanks to two milk-guzzlers. I even get weepy when little sibling hands touch each other across my cleavage. My favorite thing about tandem breastfeeding has nothing to do with lactating or being connected with my kids.

Not every tandem session is all sweet-nothings. Usually, I’m nursing one right after the other, with Lanoy being first dibs always and Humnoy not liking that. I have to plan it right or the toddler demands to only nurse and try to shove his sister off her side. Another nap fail include the famous 2-minute nap for the newborn, who only falls asleep side-lying and is over-dramatically startled by my ninja attempts to put her down. It’s just…

View original post 180 more words